Dating is something that most people either love or hate. Thinking about a first date has the potential to either fill you with nervous excitement or with total dread. Finding the balance between both ends of the spectrum is a challenge for many. So where is the middle ground and how do you build up the confidence to get there?
Those who love dating are exceptional at it and tend to go from one relationship to the next with ease. Ironically, those that hate it often are desperate to find a partner but lack the confidence to get past the sometimes awkward beginning.
It’s undeniable; for those seeking a relationship, dating is still a necessary evil. However, it’s only a tiny obstacle to overcome for the enormous potential of connecting with someone special that could turn out to be your soulmate.
So if you’re seeking love and have a phobia of dating, then you would benefit by elevating your dating skills with a few of these confidence-boosting tips.
Meet your date for the first time with friends.
Group dates don’t have to only be for young adults. If you’re nervous about that first date, then suggest a group outing instead. Being around people you’re already comfortable with will help you be yourself and take the pressure off it being a “date.” You can meet at your office happy hour, at a friend’s BBQ, or at your book club. The possibilities are endless. If you’re headed out anyway and you’ve got friends there, you could make it a date.
Agree on a location where you feel natural and at ease.
If the idea of sitting face-to-face with a stranger for dinner and drinks strikes you with fear, then don’t suggest it as a first date. Instead try a location, aside from your home, where you feel most at ease. A sporting event, a hike, a movie, or even a browse through a bookstore are all unique and fun locales to get to know someone.
Flip your mindset from “it’s a date” to “I’m just meeting someone.”
Try not to think of the first meeting purely as a date. The real dates can come after you’ve established you want to get to know each other more. Think of the first meeting precisely as it is – just a first meeting to see if you would like to date more. This shift in mindset will remove a tremendous amount of pressure you might feel in anticipation of your first meet.
Go for a walk instead of meeting for coffee.
Coffee or drinks can be awkward, especially if you don’t consider yourself a savvy conversationalist. If the fear of not knowing what to say and elongated pauses stress you out, suggest an activity for the first meeting instead. A casual stroll amidst the beauty of nature will not only be more enjoyable physically, being yourself will be easier when you’re not staring at each other eye-to-eye the entire time.
Instead of worrying about whether or not your date likes you, focus on getting to know him or her.
Doubts might continually run through your mind like, “Does he like me?” Or it could feel like an interview that if you fail, you don’t get another chance. Worrying about what your date is thinking is a waste of energy, as it falls entirely out of your control.
A more uplifting focus is to concentrate on getting to know your date. Ask him or her open-ended questions that invite honest and engaging responses like, “If you could have your dream day, what would that be like?” Listen and pay attention carefully because you’re also deciding whether or not you want a second date.
Give yourself more options by using a matchmaker.
By using a matchmaker such as Kelleher International you will widen your romantic possibilities and increase your confidence level for meeting someone special. Busy professionals rely on matchmaking services for their exclusivity too.
Lastly, don’t forget why you’re dating in the first place.
While in the throes of all the drama that can come with dating, it’s easy to lose sight of why you’re doing it in the first place. Keep your eyes on the prize, as they say, and allow the positive motivation of the relationship you’re ultimately seeking to inspire you to keep at it. When you’re dating for the love of the partnership you want, you will exude a confident joy that will remain with you even through all of the ups and downs.
So if you’ve been putting off love because dating strikes fear in you, try incorporating one or more of these tips to give you the courage to pursue your dream relationship. You’ll be sure to go from hating it to confidently meeting new people, all the while bringing you closer to finding your soulmate.