One of the main casualties of addiction abuse is the relationship surrounding the individual. If you were in a serious relationship or married, that relationship more than likely suffered quite a deal of damage to substance abuse. In many cases, damage that was caused by addiction is more than a marriage can handle even if it tends to linger on for a few years while the individual has gained sobriety. There are times that the marriage is salvageable, however, it will require a great deal of effort from both parties to make things right. Below are just a few tips on how you can begin to heal a broken relationship.
First and foremost, never make the relationship a precondition for sobriety. You may want to try and save your marriage by quitting drugs or alcohol, however, it simply cannot be a condition of sobriety. Gaining sobriety is going to improve your life, but this is something that must be done for yourself not someone else. If your recovery is going to be dependent upon fixing a marriage, it simply will not be a strong recovery. These types of situations you should consider couples counseling, take a look into couples rehab. They’re going to be multiple unresolved issues due to substance abuse and they are going to have a continued impact upon the state of your marriage.
One of the best options in this type of situation is to seek out a devoted professional. Couples counseling is able to provide a safe environment that will allow you and your partner to sort through a difficult past and build for a brighter future. Groups such as Al-Anon are designed it’s a way that they are an incredible resource for partners going for recovery. However, you never want to push too hard for your husband or wife to attend the meeting, but should support them if they would want to do it.
While you’re taking positive steps in an effort to improve your life, you never want to have unrealistic expectations about your relationships and life once you are sober. Your partner is going to be extremely happy that you made these changes, but you cannot expect a clean slate directly from the start. You’re going to have to win your partner’s trust again and is going to take time to prove that you have changed. If your expectations are too unrealistic, it will more than likely lead to disappointment and resentment, which can ultimately lead to a relapse.
As humans, we are able to adapt to the most miserable conditions. We can find comfort in what is familiar to us even when there is pain involved. Over the course of your behavior, your partner more than likely develops habits that allow them to cope. However, with sobriety comes a new individual that they have to learn to live with. Give your partner the time they need to learn and cope with the new you and adapt to this living situation. You are going to need to give your partner the time they need to heal. More than likely the problems in the relationship did not happen overnight, so one cannot expect everything to be perfect within a day.
During your initial sobriety may feel as though your partner simply will not let go of the past. However, by staying on the right track, your marriage will continue to grow stronger and stronger. The biggest mistake people make when they begin living a sober life is giving up on their marriage. Simply must give it time as many marriages can be salvaged.